Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Trading Spaces - Moving on

I spent the last two days rearranging my house. I have done this since I was about five starting with two twin beds a dresser and a desk. My Mom would find me laying up against the wall pushing the furniture around with my feet. She would roll her eyes and close the bedroom door, except during the time I had groovy beads instead of a door. She was a strict parent but only when it had to do with right and wrong, everything else was in the category of " how important is it? "

I was strong willed to say the least and she picked her battles with me. I am lucky even though she died when I was 11. She gave me a strong since of myself early on and it was a good thing because after her death I was on my own. I was a leader and not a follower and that kept me away from drugs and self-destructive behavior, I was no angel but the damage wasn't permanent, I don't think.

So changing my space this weekend says two things about where I am spiritually, first that my energy is back and second that I am ready for change, whatever it may be. I am not scared of the future anymore and I have accepted the past. I have been stuck in that in between space for so long, not knowing if I would ever be free again and just when I gave up, the funk of depression moved on.

I have a new space in my head and in my house. I am sure my mom is shaking her head about now.

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